Sunday, June 8, 2014

Happy Endings

I think I avoided writing for awhile because I knew when I wrote it would be my last entry. I hate ending this blog because I see how many people log in and read it everyday. I appreciate it so much! However,  my son is older now and I feel writing about the medical things that go on with him is starting to become an invasion of his privacy. I can't believe my little miracle baby is now 3 years old. Who knows maybe when he is older he will start this blog back up and share his story.

I remember when I started this blog I was in such extreme pain. I just found out my baby was sick. I was told by the doctor that termination might be the better option.  I walked into the sonogram thinking about the cute baby clothes I was going to buy later that night and walked out thinking about whether my baby would live or be paralyzed. I literally became a different person within an hour. Things that were so important before became so meaningless. And oh boy was I just getting my first lesson in pain. The NICU would bring me pain over and over. I was told twice my son  probably would not make it. I watched other moms hold their babies while they died in their arms. I thought once we left the NICU the pain wouldn't be as bad. Then came the surgeries. Holding my son in my arms and placing him on the operating table where he was about to undergo a 12 hr surgery was heartbreaking. Watching the moms hold the hands of their cancer stricken children in the hospital cafeteria was gut wrenching. Then I thought after the surgeries things would be so much better. However, there is also the pain that nothing will ever come easy for my son. For every milestone we have reached there have been many therapy sessions behind them.

For every moment of pain I have ever felt after having my son I have had a hundred happy moments. My son, my husband, and now my daughter are the best things that have ever happened to me. My son has changed me. I have become a better, stronger, more giving, and deeper version of myself. Andrew faces every challenge with such braveness. He never ever gives up on anything. He is walking and running without any sort of assisted device when we were told he wouldn't feel anything below his knees. He is the happiest person I have ever met. He is always smiling. Even when he falls down he brushes himself off and keeps on going without a moments hesitation.  I have no doubt he will face every challenge with fierce determination. I'm so lucky to be his mom. I truly feel like God honored me with this beautiful soul.

I started writing this blog feeling scared and hopeless. I leave it feeling happy and at peace.
I thank you for reading about the journey we have gone on so far...your love and support will never be forgotten.

My beautiful boy celebrating his 3rd birthday! 

My amazing guy running as fast as his feet can take him. 

Andrew and his sister Madeline