Week 2 in the NICU was a little tougher. I think we got spoiled because our first week was pretty tame. This week we dealt with Andrew having a possible infection, internal bleeding, blood transfusion and he stopped breathing and needed an air bag to help him (usually he just uses a nose breathing tube which you can see in the picture). I thought I was going to crumble under the stress of it all but yet you keep going somehow. My husband gave me the best advice and said I needed to give in to it. I wasn't giving in to our situation. I was fighting all of it. I kept asking myself why is this happening BUT it is happening and I need to face it. We knew going into all of this Andrew wasn't going to be born a bouncing healthy baby boy. Even without all this premie stuff he still has spina bifida. I need to get stronger for him and stop taking it all so personal. I do give myself a little break though and realize this is all new to me. I just need time to adjust. Plus what mother in her right mind wants to see her baby hooked up to all those wires and IV's. The situation is scary but when I put my hand in the incubator and Andrew grabs my finger and holds on for dear life I wouldn't trade that moment for anything in the world.
There's no getting around it, it's really hard. It won't always be this hard--the NICU is rough, but it will be over in a relatively short time, even though it seems like forever.
ReplyDeleteOh, and we adjusted for Nate's age until he was 2. :)
I think your husband had some great advice for you. If you fight and ask why me, or why or anything else it takes engergy away from you and your precious little man. I have learned to let go of any thought or worry that takes energy away from my family. It is HARD to learn, but life will be easier that way.
ReplyDeleteTake a breath, lean on those around you that are encouraging, and just keep putting one foot in front of the other, you will find a rythme and a new normal :)
And I agree with Colleen.. we adjusted Nat's age until two too, but after being a SB mom for almost 11 years (how do they grow up so fast??) I have learned to throw ALL comparing out the window and just live life :) Easier said than done, but important all the same.
Blessings to you!
hi Kelly,
ReplyDeleteI hope the last few days have been smooth ones for Andrew and that you all are hanging in there with NICU life. I am glad that you all got a spot at Ronald McDonald. We have been on the list for 2 weeks, but still have not gotten in. I am grateful that we have a temporary placement with a Host for Hospitals family, but never imagined that it would take this long to get into Ronald's. Hope to see you all there eventually.
Keep hanging in there and know that we continue to send good thoughts and prayers.
Sarah
I pray life is getting a little smoother. It's never easy to see your little one needing all those tubes and wires, but it does get less and less often that they need them.
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